Forget me not! (a demand from the banned)

With the lifting of restrictions, should the "formerly banned" just "Keep Calm and Carry On?"

Once upon a time it was important to REMEMBER PEOPLE, and many a lady and gent even wore “Forget Me Not” jewelry, sent cards, and gathered bouquets of the eponymous flower in order to keep those left behind—in mind.

In 2022 LOTS OF US were FORGOTTEN

I know many of y’all are are now grappling with this HUGE issue. A lot of people are just tired and they simply do not want to make waves after 2.5 years of pushback and conflict (with nasty neighbors and employers) and after all this time of bein’ hollered at, they aren’t askin’ for a second helping of abuse. BASTA. I get that.

Forgetting that you were forgotten and not asking to be remembered can let you carry on, perhaps calmly, without conflict. But is this what we want?

Most folks I know want little more than to get on with their formerly suspended lives. They breathe deep sighs of relief now that they can do so in public, mostly permitted to reveal their naked faces, to exist maskless.* They can largely attend sporting events or shows without having to prove they are jabbed or boosted or even double boosted (as the MET Opera required up until now, but will graciously “lift” for Fall Season though masking will still be mandatory).  

* many New York venues, stores, and eateries, post signs that ONLY the vaxxinated can be maskless but THANKFULLY they are too busy to check (nobody seems to be checking for passport status now—that of course could change). I believe other cities operate similarly…

In much of the USA, uninjected (or unboosted) people are now being “allowed in.”

Here in NYC, “Covid Capital of the USA” some crazy venues still ban the unjabbed---like BOTH of my younger daughter’s former favorite professional-level dance studios (here and here) where she may not attend in person (due to being unjabbed of course) and frankly Zoom dance classes suck eggs. And yet even here, most of us uninjected can at least sit down at a coffee shop and not be forced to wait outside in the cold for carry-out-only. Indeed, it’s better even here in the Land of Fear, though many people are under the mistaken impression that NYC has opened all of it’s sore, Bandaid-sporting arms to the unjabbed, ‘tain’t so. Daisy’s husband is STILL banned from his job which continues to mandate injections. But let’s leave such inconsistencies for a moment and let’s ACCEPT the LONGER LEASH to which we dogs humans are now so generously tethered as a reality. We must wonder how to proceed? How to move forward?

Forgive and forget? 

Some of my friends disagree but...Daisy sez no. NO Dang WAY will I “forgive and forget” given all we’ve been through as a family and just let bygones be bygones. I will not just strut into places as if all is forgotten, nor shall my kids who lost just about all (though not quite) everything that mattered to them (see prior posts for quite the litany).  And then some…

From all I can see of the places that will let you in now, they are not exactly rolling up the red carpet for us. There is no “Welcome Back” with balloons or free tix or complimentary lattes let alone an honest, “Sorry we effed up your LIFE for a few YEARS” (eons for kids/ teens).  They are just MOVING FORWARD.

And you know what?  They will lock down again—hard as before. I’m sure of it.

In theory you could go back AND ask for the “manager” (who often isn’t there) but speaking to the barista kid or the museum ticket taker or the hip kids manning the reception desk, let’s be honest, will do little to nothing. Write to board members? Many stores are owned by corporations and parent companies make the policies. Write to the Artistic Directors of theaters and operas? To gallery owners (rarely present)? To PR managers? You could—you might, but somehow I feel that is not going to be as effective as just not going—as not spending your money where you WERE not wanted. Don’t buy lunch at the place that refused to serve you. (In the rare scenario where they allowed you to be seated by pretending you showed them a code—wink—then go ahead on in!) Such exceptions aside, however, in nearly all cases where jabs were required for entry it would be VERY hard to walk in and EXPLAIN just how their choices to ban you affected you. Not saying don’t try it…but one cashier with a sympathetic ear is unlikely to affect bigger policy or effect any reckoning.

And if you were heard, would you REALLY be heard? Or would that be just lip service? I’d say the owner of a mom n’ pop place (fooderie, store) may listen and understand… sincerely. But the way Amerika is set up to work nowadays—just showing up and giving anyone there a piece of one’s mind—is likely to just get you kicked out or banned for good—or even “boo’d” off the premises by the self-righteous patrons getting an earful of your speaking yer mind thar’. Might groups work—going in a group? Possibly… but try finding one first…few people want to provoke conflict and even going “in peace” could be perceived as “triggering”—so I really can’t answer with certainty, but I fear that tactic would not go over well. Those that are decision makers are never in the lobby, ya know. So… to patronize or not to patronize? (That is REALLY the big question…) Forgive ‘em and forget what happened? Is that the real way forward? Or no.

I say NO NO NO, I, personally, will not patronize these places that banned me because doing so—just returning to this or that place as a paid customer or audience member again--maintains the illusion with those on the management side of things that all’s well that ends well, that we who missed out are JUST FINE and see, we did FINE we are standing.  Returning “signals” to them that things are just moving forward and “updated” now that the so-called virus(es) are “less harmful,” (until they are not...) and this leads them to believe that no harm was done. Look Cindy, the old customers are back!  I— JUST— CAN’T.

I have friends who disagree with me and now that mandates have been (mostly) officially lifted here in NYC they just want to GET ON WITH THEIR LIVES. They want to avert their gaze and just move forward—they don’t want to see how this “lifting” was done. Lifting “lite” (not heavy lifting all at once) and in the dark… rat-like.

Folks, I don’t like SNEAKS. I recently learned that at the beginning of July 2022 some places QUIETLY started lifting their jab mandates and some even their mask mandates. Such DECISIONS were completely unannounced (SNEAKY STUFF indeed!), therefore many of us hadn’t even noticed that OH, this museum and OH that gallery and OH such and such Theater… would now deign to let us in.

Really now? If they felt SO…. GREAT about changing their ever-lovin’ minds, WHY DID THEY DO IT IN SECRET??? Why not publish this news in the NY Times and the NY Post and just about everywhere, wahoo?! Why did they not have a big welcome party, free seltzer and balloons for the UNJABBED, WAR IS OVUH, we missed ya, sorry, come’on back?

NO. This “supposed” act of kindness (of forgiveness? for us?, say what?) was done stealthily like a thief in the night but NOT bringing any divine grace, just some sheepishly small-minded smaller-typed reversals on web pages—and that just ain’t right folks. If you put your cheaters on (the glasses not the falsies!), sure ya could see the newly updated policies—I had to look and saw this had happened in July… while I blinked.

I NOTICED how this “shift” in policy was enacted—furtively, like an undercover operation. To me, the quiet, unannounced insertion is unsavory like the nut that’s gone rancid. NO I will not take your sneaky-ass “relaxed” rules as an apology nor can I forgive them.

So... now we are here, it’s August 2022 (nearly September) and it’s 2 years and 5 months of H. E. Double Toothpicks for many of us. Sure, the full out bans started in 2021 once the “vaxxine” was introduced, but still, it’s been a LONG LONG TIME.  For 18 months we were treated as unclean. 

YES VIRGINIA, IT IS LIKE THE HOLOCAUST

We (all of us) were treated like Jews in the eyes of the Nazis, whether we were or were not Jewish (I “are” an’ “whar”…). NO we were not murdered or GASSED (we were GasLIT), and still we were vilified, treated as if DIRTY, DISEASED/CONTAGIOUS and SELFISH and uninformed. They said we did NOT follow “The Science™,” and thus deserved death, losing our bank accounts, and much more suffering and banishment that should have come along to punish us (Don Lemon and others similarly wired had such choice wishes for the unjabbed…). So, yes, this is how the Nazis started in the early 30’s long before the camps and the gas chambers.

HOW can I forgive this behavior in my fellow humans? In formerly tolerant New York City?! Even as a Jew, I’m not supposed to say this TRUTH? Really? Cannot compare? Thankfully Holocaust survivor Vera Sharav will say it loud and clear and she’s got more street cred than anyone there!  In fact, when I did make this specific analogy responding on another writer’s Substack, the response to my comment was that this entire plandemic was created by Ashkenazis, implying that Jews (most of the diaspora at least) have no right to compare today’s events to that past horror BECAUSE they are solely responsible for all harms done—for the jabs, the lockdowns, the economic crisis—the deaths—-and thus deserve worse.  Golly. OY. Nice folks are all around. 

But you see, you must see...we WERE ALL JEWS, we the unvaccinated. And honestly guys, Gates, Faucheat, Schwab, Biden, Johnson (Boris not Ron), Turd-O, and yes even Warp Speed Orange Man—and SO many others—are NOT Jewish. This was a MOTLEY AFFAIR. Scoundrels of ALL FAITHS and NO FAITHS created this plandemic and if you cannot see that ugliness and compare today’s “othering” of the unvaxxinated to a very important genocide that took place in the 20th Century, THEN you will walk right into compliance AGAIN, both those who imposed the sanctions (banning) and those who accepted them and simply want to Forgive and Forget ASAP/Now.

Beyond Nuremberg…

Many of us know about Operation Paperclip and that most Nazi criminals were NOT punished, they were HIRED and put on the payrolls of the US Govt. and those of the other 5 Eyes (and USSR too I hear).

Will there be trials for the TOP CRIMINALS? Who the heck knows? But there will NOT likely be trials for the store owners that banned you, for the theater company that would not let you audition, for the gym that would not let you work out, for the barber that sent you away, for the church or temple officials that would not let you worship… AND SO ON… There will be No Nuremberg 2.0 for most citizens who “just followed orders” and hated on us all as if we were “awful” and “depraved” and ethnically (here medically) inferior… Jews…

Putting this conundrum another way if you can, should the Jews all forgive Hitler? Okay, maybe not him but what about his generals? Not them? What about all the nurses and doctors and officers who just followed orders? What about just the regular folks who just followed along?  So should we forgive too?  Any of them? Some of them? Former friends, family? Should we forgive but just not “forget"?” Or not forgive at all?

A LOT of people died due to the lockdowns and jab mandates that CONTINUE to kill people. Should you forgive the nurses and doctors who killed your relatives? friends? the pediatricians who recommended the “safe and effective” jabs for kids who needed them less than fish need bicycles?

At what point is it asking TOO MUCH for typical human forgiveness? Or is there no limit (for some of you)?

WHO CAN WE FORGIVE?
WHO SHALL WE FORGIVE? OR…shall we not?

I’m not against forgiveness... I think forgiveness is IMPORTANT, particularly in these truly bizarre days where people DO NOT FORGIVE each other. Wokeness, for example, is unforgiving—horribly so. Someone just says something “unwoke” (much of which is not even offensive for anyone sane) or simply says something careless and is NOT FORGIVEN EVER (okay, except Joy Reid...Biden...a few who get special compensation—but they don’t all count).

Can we as decent people forgive NORMAL indiscretions and everyday errors, can we forgive slips of the tongue and unintentional harms or mistaken interpretations of our words or deeds and STILL NOT FORGIVE what was done to us in the name of a LIE? Can we withhold forgiveness for what was done to our children, to our families (many now split asunder), to our formerly stable homes and jobs and savings and and “life security,” during this (first) plandemic?

In this unforgiving era—I want to forgive but I am unable to forgive those in charge who ran with this like it was a bank robbery (it was) and the getaway car was only a few yards away.  I am UNABLE TO FORGIVE the friends who left me and my kids, the meanies in the neighborhood who filmed me maskless and threatened to “expose me” online and on FB for being a “killer.”  I got yelled at in my face more times than I’d like to remember—so did my kids...

So nope, I ain’t forgiving now. And you know what—they WILL be back—maybe it won’ be for not taking the jab—but they will be BACK... maybe for not loving Biden or for questioning the trans agenda or who knows what—the NEXT MoneyPox outbreak...?

Again, I have friends who say it’s wrong to harbor such negative feelings against those who banned all of us “in fear” and because they “believed” the media.  It wasn’t THEIR fault, right? They just went along…

WHERE DO WE DRAW THE LINE? Do we forgive unkind words but not the music school and teachers that banned our kids? Do we forgive mom being too scared to have us sit at Thanksgiving table but not the doctor who forced the jab on your uncle?

HOW DO WE NAVIGATE THIS OBSTACLE COURSE?

So readers, if you got this far...WHAT WOULD YOU DO…?

Would you:

…attend or patronize or enter a place that banned you (your “kind” so it were) if that place did belatedly apologize for said prior banning and/or proffered a promise not to do it again?, a place that vowed to “do better” next time and really “do better” moving forward?

If NO, is this because they should not be forgiven for their crime in the first place...? 

To be honest, the above question is a FAKE one because as of late August 2022 not a SINGLE place that has opened its doors in NYC had apologized or admitted any prior wrong-doing. Not a ONE. But if they did—would you accept the apology and become their patron again?

Next question..would you:

… revisit a place that banned you for a time and never apologized for the prior ban but has now lifted regulations?  Would you return to (or patronize) this venue or visit this place if their website or signage still bears notice that ‘for now” your “kind” may enter but this new policy is “subject to change” or revocation “at any time’ or “per CDC advisory updates”?

I’m asking these questions for real, in real time. I don’t have the answers but my friends who return, chipper and glad to be welcome again—are not seeing what I see. I think people need to learn—forget the concept of punishment and just think about empathy, they need to UNDERSTAND. But now I see people are not even CAPABLE of being empathetic, seeing things the way we experienced them. The bitterness REMAINS—there are folks that STILL say, “well you made that choice, you have no reason to complain—I made my choice and MY KIDS suffered a LOT LESS”… (nah nah nah nah nah nah…) Or maybe they suffered a lot less THEN, but who knows what will come down the pike, ya know?

SO...I dunno folks...I can’t return. I CANNOT act like it’s back in early 2020 to the days of BEFORE.

Some of my unjabbed friends and compatriots here in NYC (this once terrific town we’ll soon be leaving**) have just been “happy” to know that places have reopened to the unjabbed and that they are “back-Jack,” not making a new plan, Stan, for if/when they are again banned as they are thinking optimistically that we won’t see again what happened for the past 2.5 years. I cannot join them. 

I am all for forgiveness. I do not know what would change my mind. A sincere apology? A reckoning? I can say there’s nuttin’ I hate more than a fake, insincere apology... that certainly would not do.

With zero apology and no acknowledgement ... just going back to places that banned me for 2.5 years DOES NOT FEEL RIGHT.

So… FORGET ME NOT. FORGET US NOT.
Forgiveness… well that may be another story

We’ll all be facing some form of this dilemma soon, if not already, and possibly for some time ongoing… MUCH to think about!
Daisy

ps I worked on a different version of the above video of Forget Me Nots as a “PA” (production assistant) a while back—we shot it on a rat-infested pier off the East River, Nile Rodgers produced