IF NYC GETS NUKED do not take shelter... (don't'cha DARE!)

(Fallout Shelters are for the rich elite and we're takin' away the signs just to make SURE ya don't find 'em)

So since 2017 there has been a slow movement to take away all the old 1950's cold-war era SIGNS that directed folks to public (free for all) NYC Nuke/Bomb Fallout shelters.  The signs look like these, below, (standardized, clear) and one found them literally ALL OVER the city so ya’d know where to go.

BUT TODAY folks, we are being TOLD these shelters are dusty useless ol’ RELICS and cannot possibly protect you. Again, began in 2017 when they started taking the signs down and LATELY, with the rest of the signs being REMOVED, there has been a NEW SERIES OF STORIES, VIDEOS (and an NPR radio feature) to remind people that SIGNS ARE BEING TAKEN AWAY as these "old cement airtight shelters in the ground" ARE NO GOOD, will not work for YOU (you you you plebes, you ordinary New Yawkers, no s’ah). 

Daisy sez BULLCRAP. 

Relics, REALLY??????

Here’s what those sneaky-assed varmints want us to do INSTEAD:

DIE!!!!!!!!

This new video campaign (if you can stomach the Carol Merrill /Let's Make a Deal "AI" smarminess of it all) directs folks to just stay inside their ordinary apartments (lah dee dah) and, er, avoid the windows. Maybe take a shower and stay in your middle room (as if most of us HAVE one?!). Gee thanks Mayo Big Cheese, iz that like duckin' n' coverin' under a DESK at school?  (Golly that’s HELPFUL, no?)

The smarmy PERKY PSA video shows a swanky computer generated “faux-partment“ that has more space than you can swing a giraffe in (no, don't be swingin' any nice giraffes).  Most of us could barely swing a city squirrel in our cramped spaces without hittin' a window (don't be swingin' squirrels either y'all).  You get it.  Impossible to avoid windows and stay in the non-existant "center room" the way most humans beans live here… SO…

The phony baloney videos are here just to tell you to just 'effin DIE. To break it down the message is:

1.  "Nukes is comin!"

2. We won't tell y'all yer fucked because…

3.  The old Fallout Shelters are just for the Rich and Well Heeled and we don't wantcha' coming 'round. We’ll tell y’all they’re dusty. Truth be told, they are for those deep pocketed ritzy folks that will get a heads up from us.  They are for the subset of the Fawncy Folks that don't have one already in their private brownstones or in the sub-basements of their penthouse apt buildings.  (They are NOT for you schmucks).

Unless I’m wrong, they likely have been spiffin' them up since 2017 for the “private clients.” NOW they are ready, hence the new SPATE of announcements for ordinary citizens to FERGIT’EM and STAY AWAY from ‘em. The Richy Rich will find them via GPS per their "insider, hush hush wink wink" messages. 

OKAY eye rollers, so ya'll think this is tin foil hatty batty stuff?

Could be could be… BUT then tell me then, WHY in the SAM HELL would they instruct folks to say in their little windowed walk up apartments and NOT go into underground safe /cement thick-walled spaces originally INTENDED for NYC residents.

Folks, this is not just A FEW SHELTERS, they were ALL OVER THE CITY intended for—millions!

So Daisy Crackpot here is nearly CERTAIN I’m onto something here….

Dumb New Yawkers, don't even DARE ta' try to 'member where the Fallout Shelters once WERE—those sturdy all cement secure underground safe spaces that MIGHT INDEED protect you just fine if the "Russkies" bomb the crap outta us.  Right those.  Nope, go into your little wee spaces and FRY.

This was a public service announcement from
Daisy

ps ya could always call 311 (inside joke, NY’ers know this gits ya nowhere!)
pps even if I’m wrong and these things were left to rot n’ rat—why would they NOT maintain them, eh?