More hurry-canes is comin'! Be prepared!
(a delivery from our Sittin' Resident, straight from The White Castle*)
*a Nashin’al Instee-tu-shun!
From the horse’s ever-neighin’ mouth (what he predick-ed, now comes true)…
LISTEN to it ya’ll it’s short—gotta hear it ta’ believe it!
Anyone gotta lil’ ol’ sugar cube for Unca Joe here? (he done did’hiz job an’ said his lil’ piece… now the chickens’iz comin’ home to roost…)
PLANNED WEATHER MODIFICATION
(special weather 'fer special places)
SO… frens, y’all know about the project-Cirrus Hurricane IAN “they” recently “MADE in the USA”—purdy impressive stuff, right? The RIGHT STUFF! Gotta git that “right stuff” (handle with gloves on!) inta’ our skies and fly it United! Mister Resident sez there’z more a’ comin’ too! And he should know, they tol’ him so!
(Read Watch all ‘about here:)
They’re gonna come down HARD on Florida n’ Texas, and other places whar the guv’nerds ain’t playing nice (none’o them Reign-Deer games like Loop-de-lockdown or Nail-in-the-Coffin). Why they let deer folks roam free (n’ muzzle-free too!) and despite quiet quarantine lawrs STILL on the books (ssssh!), DeSanty makes it Chris’ibus every day there—whoo hoo! But the Big Bad Wolves (who ATE Granny an’ told ya YOU done did it!) don’t like DeSanty’s clause(s) so they RAIN on his PARADE. They rain HARD. Hurry-Canes! Watch out!!!! Seek shelter!
canes is tuff by nature, but not immune ta extreme un-nat’ral manmade weather conditions…
Now canes is toads and toads’s slower than frogs, but frogs (an’ canes) all gotta hurry cuz they wanna BURL them Floridee Froggies fer supper! (An’ anywhoo, no right proper Kontry Kitch’in would BURL frogs let alone LIVE ones! Save yer hot hogfat n’ cornmeal for fryin’ them WOLVES atta’be comin’ down yer chim’knees folks!)
Let’s “g’wan” an’ harken to “Unca” Joe’s good advice so’s we all know t’ stay safe from the attacks that “Unka Joe” hisself’ll rain on us... He’s got all’ve them tips “in case’ a” hurry-canes, so I’ll list’em here Short Order-style (as that’d be “Hairy-legz Joe” at The White Castle Lunch Counter..).
Joe Sez:
1. Get Vaxxinated sez he (oh yessum, this should be FIRST folks) — Hurry-cane comin’ RUN FIRST to the NEAREST WALGREENS and GIT JABBED! (keeps ya safe!)
2. Get your emergency “PLIES” ready (why I have lotsa plies---why here it’s Plies ‘R Us!) – Plies kin help ya (right Jethro n’ Elly May?) Which plies? Plies you eat? I like me sum’ possum plies with vinny-ger! Duz he mean imp-ortant plies like buckets? (Thar’s a hole in mine cuz dear Liza fergot’uh mend it...I kin call up Henry...) Meanin’ prack’tical plies you wipe yer hind-end with? Might we git a hep’ful list? (Nome, sez the Unca, go’wan n’return to step 1, git vaxxinated AGIN’, an’ ferget the damned list! We don’t offer menus here at the The White Castle!—jus’ ORDERS!)
3. There will be MORE hurry-canes coming (Unca sez, “we know it, we bake them!”) And iffi’n yer in the UK they have the best plies in London over thar! (you’d Love-et! RIP Dear Angela by the way...)
So the message from Unca Joe the Short Order Schnook Cook is BE PREPARED folks!
Daisy
(bona fide den mama, oft’n prepared!)
Unka Joe mighta been puttin them MK UltraSweet cubes in his coffee...but seriously, it's surprising how much he's gone downhill (no Suzy Chapstick jokes now, have some respect for the orifice) in these past fourteen tortuous months since that clip was made.
Thanks for the Tom Leher...reminds me I forgot to link to The Vatican Rag over 'ere at Sage's.
They're gonna take away my Memory merit badge...you know, the one with the picture of...the thing
Keep yer Flint 'n' Steel handy...for y'all in MS, then maybe Flint 'n' Jackson...and H2O purification tablets
Yup, our Resident's gone further downhill than a rolly poly on'a dung heap since this "announce-mint" but given recent events in Florida-- IAN it's clear as Saran Wrap that he's just readin' (off the telly-prompt'r) his frog-burlin' plans. (Big fan'o Tom Leher thar, incl. the Ol' Vatican Rag!) I'm a New Yawker but got mitten fambly! Ak'tual flint n' steel we all need nowadays! (Git them Doors to Light Our Fires so we all don't freeze and have to light our Doors!) Yup, water in both Flint n' Jackson is bad-central (ever seen Lake Erie water? Y'kin cut it!) Here in NYS it's iodine--they're signaling like nukes is comin' here an' fast. They got it on posters n' billboards, on the sides o' buses and in PSA's. Unca Joe's gotta go (in all ways har dee har) so's we all gotta "Be Prepared" for what he's gonna dump on us!