INDIGNITY on DISPLAY in the good ol' USA
Lizzo plays President James Madison's 200-YEAR-OLD CRYSTAL FLUTE
What’s yer first thought seein’ this “strikin’” image, folks? (as in close cover before STRIKING!) But really ya’ll, would ya see this image and think an important HISTORICAL EVENT is occurring here? Would ya think THIS is how someone honors one of our foundin’ fathers AT the Library of Congress? Might ya think, seeing this “display” that an important musical instrument—rare and delicate—is about to be played?
NAH… you’d say BOOTY CALL Y’ALL! (I’m no prude this I’m callin’ it what it IS.)
(even if ya didn’t see the viddy-yo with the twerkin’ and shakin’ dial tuned up to MAX)
Here’s the full video below, watch’er (click on it):
So what’s this historical “thang” she’s a playin’ eh?
It’s an 1813 Paris-designed Claude Laurent (famous flute-maker’s) crystal flute that Laurent sent to President James Madison to commemorate his second inauguration as U.S. President. The flute was rescued from the White House in April 1814 by Dolley Madison as the British entered Washington, DC during the War of 1812.
Agreed, not just any ol’ flute, right? An important artifact rescued when the Brits tried to set fire to the White House, no? Not just a little keepsake but a Presidential inaugurational gift from France, no?
By the headline ya’d think the famous Lizzo (whose fame escapes me—I think I’ve heard her mentioned as an actress? rapper? modern-day plus sized fashion model?) would be PLAYING this celebrated presidential instrument, no?
No. As in, “no sirree” friends. This half-nekked, morbidly obese (can we still say this?) somewhat “skerry” (to me) she-freak does not PLAY THE FLUTE as advertised—well ‘cept maybe in the naughty meaning of the expression but that would be “off screen.” Nope, she BLOWS it—a couple times too!—and then she jiggles them ginormous hind quarters and proclaims that “History is cool.”
BLOWS it (and nope, it ain’t no shofar!). She DOES NOT play the thing (two little notes does not constitute playing any more than my puttin’ a pot on a stove burner constitutes “cooking.” She may indeed PLAY flute—I did read that she DOES play the flute. But that is moot. She chose NOT to play it. She just WHISTLED the thing (put her lips together and blew…):
(sorry couldn’t resist y’all..)
Shakin’ yer bodacious beach balls (both sets of ‘em) while blowin’ the thing—does not, on any known planet, do justice to the instrument.
Lordy.
Whatever this woman’s ample talents (Daisy here has never seen her perform and kindly’ll pass...), it’s clear she is NOT making music (which ANYONE in their RIGHT MIND might have expected—i.e. for the thing to be played and well…), but instead’s making a royal ASS of herself and this Bottom-the-“Donkey Kong Act” is, of course, mocking not just our presidential artifacts but also n’ thereby our sad, deflated presidency. Again, this is a formal Library of Congress (as in “heart-o’-guv’mint”) performance—it’s NOT “The Garden” (as in Madison Square) or “The Beacon Theater” any regular concert hall—NOT even the semi-hallowed Carnegie Hall. So the expectations DO change, friends… even for those of us who are very forgivin’!
No dignity, no dignity. (And again, I’m all for fun n’ humor and am NOT a spoiled sport but this is just… gross, and WAY too disrespectful “a sight for sore eyes” fer me.)
I hope NOBODY asked the French government what THEY thought of this tribute. Imagine Lizzo honoring Lady Liberty (I shivver at the thought).
Have we no R.E.S.P.E.C.T. (as Sister ‘Re might’ve sung…) ? An’ Aretha would’ve been DRESSED fer the occassion too…
Could we not have had, I dunno, someone on the level of Jean Pierre Rampal (who knew his way ‘round a flute!) do respectful and proper justice to this beautiful and rare presidential artifact? Did going to the clearly great effort of unwrapping this precious (CRYSTAL!) artifact after taking it out of the Library of Congress archival storage (no doubt with more security than is afforded actresses with Tiffany diamond necklaces at the Academies…) not warrant an actual musical performance???? Not even a TUNE?
Nope my friends. Celebrated classical musicians like Rampal offer no ass-jiggle and no dragon-lady fakeroo fingernails. Just beautiful music (which we seem to be herewith denied…)
Nothing is sacred any more—indeed, nothing is even respected, certainly not our “guv’mint.”
I guess we should be grateful she didn’t insert it into her nethers and lose it in her very own presidential suite? Sure nuf’ I was a tad worried!—actually concerned she’d break the thing—whoops!—for flautist or not, I wouldn’t even trust this woman with a golf club... (Do you not treat a GLASS instrument GINGERLY?)
So, choosing to BLOW the thing as she did vs stuffin’ it whar the sun don’t shine was only slightly less pornographic. I mean FOLKS THIS WAS A RAUNCHY ACT WITH THE DANG FLUTE. Was it not? Am I just imaginin’ this? Again, lady whar half-nekkid!
SO…when an obese woman’s exposed booty-crack sums up the first playing of a rare and beautiful presidential musical instrument with some major historical significance —we know just how far DOWN we’ve come—yup, our country is LIZZO. Lizzo is Amerika. Finger Lickin’ Good (let’s ROAST it now that it’s fried...)
Daisy here’s sorry if she sounds unforgiving. An’ puleese don’t pull out the race card here either. If it was Lady Gaga I’d be jus’ as miffed (or as we might say… muffed).
I think it’s clear this ain’t no Mahalia Jackson (an immense musical talent who indeed entertained at the White House respectfully, with dignity, and with immense –not a fat joke--talent) and frankly this ain’t even no Janet Jackson whose famous supposed illuminati-signaling boob-Poppin’ Fresh Pies moment was ostensibly far mor’ tasteful than this horror of a moment.
Really, can we stoop lower?
Will Lizzo “cheekily” pee on the Constitution and then wipe herself with the Betsy Ross flag (about the right size for her it appears, sorry...) and say not only is history cool but it makes great toilet paper too?!
Think I’ve gone too far? Here’s her own quote:
“Bitch, I just twerked and played James Madison’s crystal flute from the 1800s. We just made history tonight!…History is freaking cool.”
Okay folks, now I DO guess it’s MADISON TIME...
Wonderin’ what Ben Franklin (inventor of the glass “armonica”!) might’ve said ‘bout this one…
Daisy
PeeS. (yuk yuk) — I DOUBT her audience has a clue who James Madison was or who Dolley Madison was OR even the danged cupcakes!
PPS…. Daisy’s still in the middle’a movin’ so posts may be “skeerce” fer now, but this one I could not RESIST (as I was so appalled, Ben Frankly!)
I'll give Lizzo a pass on this one, she is actually a phenomenal flautist! You should see her when she plays for real and then judge :)
Don't worry about the French government, they've fallen as far as we have.